believe in yourself...

YOU OUT OF ALL PEOPLE CAN DO THIS!

never doubt yourself for a second because once you do... you will fall apart... again.

you can do this. get through this mess. and sort yourself together.

just in time.

you can do this. its a simple exam. a simple interview.


NEVER BE AFRAID OF GREATNESS.



you were born to shine.

you were born to be great.
why are you so scared of your own light??
everyone else can see it... so why should you turn a blind eye?

do not spend the rest of your free time concocting up some pivotal dramatic event in your life.
LIFE IS NOW.
you want to make it more interesting? do something different everyday.

don't be an idiot...

there he is.. right there.. waiting for you..

just as you waited for him... all this time...

don't be such a drama queen and stop making it complicated for you...

what the hell are you waiting for?

JUMP!

and after the love has gone...

there's still so much more left.

but maybe right now is just not the right time...

for you.

i loved the way you smiled today ...

it's suits you baby...

ok. now that you got that over and done with...

how about a few pointers for yourself today.

• your world does not revolve around him.
• don't be such an emo --- baby.
• don't worry too much... you and her will get your drift back.and while you're at it try to make some effort will you. she misses you a lot.
  

• be nicer to the people in the house...
  you're becoming the worst housemate/daughter/sister EVER.
  and you have no excuse - you are way past puberty
  to pull off some erratic shit like that.
  

• just remember to breathe.

• and don't scoff your food down so much ok
  - just in case you get something dislodged in your throat,
  by the rate you're going noone around you would want to take that thing out.

• sleep right tonight.
• wake up early tomorrow
• and make sure you seize the day.

i cannot sleep.

and this is because well...

well frankly this is not for you. this is for him. and this will be the truth.

here is me being honest with you.

finally.

the truth is that.I like you.
and no it isn't because of them or what they say or what they suggest.
it is because of you. the way you are. and the way I am when I'm with you.
the way i find myself looking forward to waking up early the next day
so that I can spend every moment I have on that day being with you.
riding with you. laughing with you. talking with you.
singing with you. everything with you.
because you may not know it...
but the safest place I feel I'm at is when I'm standing or sitting or
doing whatever it is we do is right there... right next to you.
I feel so trapped within myself that I cannot just run to you with arms
wide open and end it with an embrace --
no, not a hug...
an embrace that I'm wishing would last forever.
I like you.
I know I don't even show it. but it's difficult for me to show it.
It's easier for me to deny my feelings and pretend you are just a friend to me.
I'm afraid to show it... not because of what they would think
but more what you would think if I did.
I'm scared to find out the real answer from you.
I'm scared that when I do you could potentially inflict on me
a tremendous amount of pain... because I'm telling you now- you could.
And I am not ready for that. not yet. you have to know that
I am more vulnerable to you that I let on.
It's unfair to you I know... since you put in a lot of conscious
effort into letting me know how much you care.
you despite of myself treat me so well that I feel that I don't deserve it.
but you may think otherwise.

why did you decide to change your mind now?
you do not deserve someone like me right now---
i'm in pieces and I cannot let you put me back together. I owe that task to myself.
and that's not fair on you at all.
you deserve someone who has got herself together - me 4 months ago.
but things have changed and I am no longer that girl.
so now that you know...

would you wait for me to come back?

stop doing that...

yeah you know what I'm talking about...

that thing that you do when you shut off everyone that is
important to you because of some crazy 'theory' you concocted in
your head that everyone you have in your life will abandon you at some point.

It's incredibly annoying.

and you know how you hate those people who are " hot and cold"
- yeah? well say hello to that exact same person you are slowly becoming.
stop being so freaking inconsistent.
you are so caught up in yourself that you do not realise that
you are hurting the people around you.

your moodswings are too freaking EPIC.